The Phoenix of Republic City
by Lariren-Shadow
Summary: One night, when the darkness is just too dark and the wind is howling and she's certain that something is going to get her she cries out wishing for the light that's too far from her bed. She wishes and wishes she could hold the light in her hand. Suddenly she does. Her palm is alight but it's not hurting her. Asami firebender AU.


**A/N**: Over on tumblr a few days ago I posted the first section of this after Owldee said something about an AU where Asami was actually a firebender. Then the rest happened. It goes through the beginning of Episode 7 of Book 1.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

* * *

It's still hard to go to bed. Asami keeps waiting and waiting for Mommy to come home and tuck her in. She misses how Mommy would always help her wish away the bad spirits under her bed.

But no matter how much she waits she knows Mommy isn't coming home and Daddy doesn't know what to do. He's always working, he's barely even home when her new nanny takes her up to bed.

No one helps wish the spirits away. Instead she curls up under her blankets and hopes.

One night, when the darkness is just too dark and the wind is howling and she's certain that something is going to get her she cries out wishing for the light that's too far from her bed. She wishes and wishes she could hold the light in her hand. Suddenly she does. Her palm is alight but it's not hurting her.

She's seen the kids at school do this, she's aware of what it means but at the same time she can't process the word 'firebender' even though the proof is in her palm. She quickly wishes the flames gone.

Darkness closes around her and she tries to sleep and not think about the bad guys who hurt Mommy.

With the morning light she's still not sure what to think. She's lit fire in her palm a dozen times now. Each time she feels its power seep into her skin more, feels the comforting warmth she's been missing.

She's going to tell Daddy.

She skips down to breakfast and almost shows him as she enters the room but his stern voice stops her. "Another firebender released, ready to kill again. They're all like."

She backs away and tries not to cry. _Will I kill people?_ She wonders.

She kindles her fire one last time before she resolves to never bend again. She won't kill people, she vows, and she won't bend.

* * *

Asami's ten and worried. She ignores the embers within, keeps the quiet with visions of water and blood.

There are slips though. When she's nervous she'll accidentally singe her skirt. When she's angry she'll gulp down flames. During storms her fingers tingle. She's barely ever cold. She keeps everything contained and swears by her promise.

Over breakfast and dinner she sometimes hears Daddy sneer about benders controlling the world. She looks away and tries not to feel ashamed.

At school she's teased. It's less than the other kids, but still stings. She's the girl with the factory owner for a father, poor little rich girl. She takes the blows as they come and tries not to burn her pencils. She watches the ones like her (_firebenders_), slither through the groups, hunting for their prey. She watches them intimidate and mock, threaten and burn.

At night she imagines confronting them. Imagines the fire in her palms as they stare and teaching them what it's like to burn and cry and-

She extinguishes the flame in her hand and quickly covers her shaking body. She's not like them, she vows again and again. Control, control, control.

In the morning she tells Daddy about the boys. In a week she's in a different school and learning how to defend herself.

Her hand to hand combat training challenges everything. With each punch she holds back, with each kick she tries to fight the inferno inside her. A visiting teacher watches her, watches her slight hesitation.

"You're a bender," he accuses after class. She shakes her head no, unsure if her mouth will betray her. "Let me see you hand." She wills her fire away from her fingers, wills her hand to be as cold as ice and locks her flames in a box. He turns her hand over, feels the lines on her palm, tickles the inside of her wrist. "No," he finally says, "I guess you're not a bender."

She breathes a sigh of relief and feels her fire reignite.

* * *

She's thirteen and everything is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. She wants her mother, wants to have her hair brushed to the side and be reassured that, even though they'll fight because she's a teenager, that everything will be all right. At six she didn't understand her mother's words but now she does.

It's getting harder and harder to not bend. She's pulled to fire, feels it's heat before she sees it sometimes. When she yells for almost no reason she tries not to notice how a fire place filled with embers will suddenly roar to life. She's angry that no one listens to her and angry that she can't make this insesent heat go away. After one shouting match leaves a scorch mark on her floor she becomes desperate for some relief. She breaks and asks Dad why everything is so hard. He holds her and tells her it's part of growing up. She hopes he can't feel her heat.

Dad's home more, taking an interest in her life. He suggests she come to his factory. She wants to do everything in her power to please him, make him love her so much he won't care if he finds out her secret. She starts asking about Satomoblies and how they work. One day they dissect an engine together. Soon she's learning how to make it whole again.

Soon she's left alone to tinker. She needs metal welded together but isn't allowed a torch. It takes her a second to realize she doesn't need one. Slowly, surely, she learns to focus her fire so she can fuse the metal together.

She breathes a sigh of relief, finally she has found something to love about her curse.

* * *

She's sixteen and at her first pro-bending match. After dropping hints, pleading, and finally begging Dad got her tickets for her birthday. In an instant she's entranced. It's a game, a harmless game where everyone is equal. It's one of the few times she's seen bending used in a nondestructive way.

She quickly picks favorites and cheers with the rest. She hooked and asks for season tickets. The gleam in her father's eye let's her know she's won. He goes to see about buying a box, she barely notices.

A new match begins and she can tell it's different. The blue team (the Komodo Rhinos) is aggressive. They aim to hurt, to destroy. The firebender lashes out and the flame singes the opposing waterbenders neck. He goes down and his cry of agony is heard throughout the crowd.

The match is forfeit, a medic rushes on to the arena. Asami is sick into her popcorn.

It's weeks before she even thinks about going again but she feels guilty for the season tickets. With every match it becomes easier, she's more swept up in the crowd, more involved with the teams.

She looks away when a firebender is too aggressive.

* * *

She's eighteen and possibly in love with a firebender boy. His charming and slightly oblivious at times. More importantly he's the first firebender that hasn't made her cringe.

When she accidently hit him with her moped she expected flames and anger instead of endearing stuttering. She knew who he was once she saw his face, she'd began memorizing all the pro-bending players, knowing which team has the more furious firebenders and which doesn't. Mako falls, she qualifies, is in the latter category. She learns how he cares for his brother, how he uses his bending for work. He's not burdened by his fire, he's embraced it.

She tells him she feels safe with him and she means every word. Her secret is on the tip of her tongue with the taste of ashes. She hesitates though: her father likes him, wants to support his team, but she can't (she will not) let him ever know her secret. She's not convinced Mako won't slip, won't admit to giving her lessons or make an offhanded comment about her abilities.

_Maybe_, she thinks as she pressed against him, his fire calling to the one within her, _maybe I'll tell him after the championship is over._

* * *

She never gets her chance. Instead she witnesses Amon's power. She watches him take the Wolf-Bats bending away. She wants that. She wants to volunteer to have her's gone, to be rid of this constant burning inside.

She feels a rush of excitement when the door to their box bangs open. She's ready to fling herself into a waiting Equalist's arms. Instead there's a panic metalbender who's here to whisk them away to safety.

She'll seek him out later, have this done quietly. She won't let herself be a spectacle.

Later that night her boyfriend calls. "Are you alright?" She breathes into the phone.

"Fine, Pabu chewed through the robes before the arena was blown up," he pauses. "We can't go home," he admits. "They won't let us into our apartment and I don't have enough money for a new place. Chief Beifong is letting us spend the night at the station but after that…" he trails off and something inside her breaks.

"Stay with me," she offers. It's rash and impulsive but it feels right.

"Really?"

"Yes," she confirms. "You and Bolin can stay with me. In the morning we'll go get your things and then you can move in here."

"Thank you."

For the first time since she held fire in her hands she falls asleep without worrying about her bending.

* * *

She's more relaxed than ever. Her fire has cooled (maybe its finally stopping). She's not constantly worrying about a slip, she's just enjoying her friends.

For the first time she sees benders as people. They're not the men who killed her mother, the bullies in school, the thugs the roam the streets, or the athletes in their gilded arena. Their her that her boyfriend is a firebender and his kid brother the earthbender, and the girl who's never driven a car before is the all mighty Avatar. It's startling and refreshing. The Equalists can't be right about all benders. If Mako lost his bending, she reasons, he wouldn't have a job. She stops thinking of Amon as an answer to her problem and starts wondering if its time for her to embrace what she's hidden.

_Maybe_, she thinks, _maybe even if I learn how to bend I'll still be me_.

_Maybe, maybe, maybe_ swirls in her head as sparks dance on her finger tips.

When the Avatar (_Korra_) accuses her father of being an Equalist she's appalled. Yes, her father has strong opinions about benders. Yes, she's heard him rant about them. But that was years ago, when wounds were fresh and new. He hasn't said anything like that in years.

When it turns out to be true Asami feels her fire burn bright. He's her father, she loves and trusts him. She can't join him, not after making friends and not after finally understanding she's not defective, that what she feels inside is almost natural. She takes the offered glove, feels her fingers melt the lining.

She's angry. She wants to burn. She's everything she hates. Instead of breathing the fire caught in her throat she points the glove at her father. She uses the skills he bought her, he'd be proud of what she can do.

When the adrenaline is gone and the cold truth sets in she begins to shake and feel sick. She almost did the unthinkable, she's almost as bad as the men who killed her mother. Warm arms encircle her. "How are you," he asks into her hair.

"Terrible," she admits.

"I'm sorry. We're all here for you," he promises.

She feels the tears start to fall. She's never allowed anyone this close before. She cries into his shoulder as his warm hand strokes her back.

* * *

In the morning, after she's unpacked and as comfortable as she can be in her new room, she watches Korra train. She can immediately tell the Avatar is not moving the air, she's going through the motions but still as focused as ever. She controlled and precise, she's aware of her bodies movements. She's seen this in Mako's bending but he's also sloppy: he's admitted to never fully trained. But this, this control is what she needs.

Asami's never seen Korra firebend but she's sure this is how she approaches all her bending.

She walks up to Korra as the other woman finishes her last steps. She takes a deep breath. "I want you to teach me firebending," she says.

"Uh, that's great Asami," Korra says hesitantly, "but I'm not sure if you need anymore training in hand to hand combat."

Asami sets her palm a light and Korra's eyes go wide. "No, I mean firebending. I've never shown this to anyone but, well, we're going to need all the advantages we can during this war."

It's Korra's turn to breathe. "Think of fire like a tiny heartbeat," she begins. "It's part of the life that flows through you."

Finally, Asami understands.

* * *

**Reviews are awesome.**


End file.
